Laying my flesh to rest

Don’t Pull the Trigger

I received a message from someone stating that they didn’t want me to reach out as much as I do to an important person in my life. In reading the message I felt some type of way. I spoke to my husband about it & he in so many words, said we’ll respect the person’s wishes to an “extent.” In speaking to my mother she said to continue doing what I believed was right. I prayed about the situation…but still felt some type of way. Did this person requesting I back off forget how much I’ve welcomed them being involved with this important person?

As I was walking on my lunch at work my mind began to think of a previous friend I hadn’t talked to in awhile. This person was a dad & I often reached out to them for advice. They usually gave me a ratchet response which we’d laugh at, then they’d give sound advice. I wanted to tell them what happened to get “more” sound advice.

Yet, I remembered when my husband & I were courting. We read about Biblical relationships between men & women. We wanted to ensure we didn’t cross any boundaries with each other & didn’t have any current relationships that possibly already were. Well, this friend I wanted the advice from crossed Biblical friendship. So I made the decision to distance myself from it.

Now after receiving this request here I am wanting to reach out to this “friend” to get sound advice. Do you see what happened? I allowed someone’s behavior to trigger an action I already agreed to stop. It’d be easy to move forward, reaching out to this person & hide it from my husband. He’s fully aware of the friendship but I told him without his request, that I thought it’d be best to stop it & he mentioned some friends he thought he’d distance himself from as well.

Yet, here I was wanting to go back on what I said. Often times this happens to us. We allow people to trigger us to do things we know we’ve moved past. Things that may be easy to start again but hard to stop. When we fall into these things again, we begin to dig ditches, lie & hurt people because we weren’t fully committed to changing our behavior in the first place. Is it really worth it?

I’m not going to let someone’s behavior backtrack my own. So… I’ll continue to not reach out as I previously decided. I will continue to pray. Knowing that in #DyingDaily things are going to trigger me to reach into my past but the Holy Spirit sustains me to remain committed to my furure.

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