Written in the Stars

It’s easy to blame a failed relationship on compatibility issues. Justifying the incompatibility of you and another due to astrological signs came easy. Anytime I met a man I was interested in, I made sure to find out what his astrological sign was. If you’re a Pisces, we’re ying and yang. If you’re an Aquarius, then you can easily make me laugh. If you’re a Taurus, then we get along great. Over time I began to purposely stay away from dating certain signs due to our astrological incompatibility.

I have done my fair share of online dating. Most people have heard at least one story of someone meeting their true love online. I even heard a story today from my dental hygienist who found her husband of 7 years, online. One of the options in finding your potential mate online is through filtering through astrological signs. Personally, I picked the same ones, in hope for the best outcome. At one point I even found myself attracted to men born within the same month. This was without knowing their birthdays beforehand. I once dated 5 men within the span of two years whose birthdays happened to be within 1-2 weeks of each other. Let’s just say, eventually, I told myself it would be best to no longer entertain men born in that month.

As a Believer, I never consulted God about my astrological sign or anyone else’s. If I was incompatible with a guy based on his astrological sign, it planted a seed of doubt. As I went through “reading” characteristics about certain signs I would think to myself…so this sign is controlling and a dreamer? So, they’re bad at handling money? Our relationship will be dull, and the fire will fizzle if we don’t work hard at it? I mean who wants to put in EXTRA work on top of the work you already have to put in? Then there were times when an astrological sign was the determining factor in whether I would date to a guy or not. I began to think, “Sorry, I already dated a Leo and uh it didn’t work out. You date one, you date them all. I found myself looking at couples in entertainment industry to see if their compatibility could somehow give me insight into dating someone.

Whenever I found out my friends were dating a new guy, I would ask, “What is his sign?” If he did anything that I thought was distasteful I’d automatically throw in his astrological sign playing a factor. I believe there is some truth to reading the starts after all the 3 wise men read the stars to locate the location of Jesus Christ birth (Matthew 2:10-11). However, using astrology as a compatibility guide for relationships dooms the relationship befofe it even really begins.

After several failed relationships, I removed astrology compatibility out of the equation. When I liked a guy, I would purposely not look up our compatibility. When I did peek, and it was a negative review, a little seed of doubt was planted. If it was positive, my expectations were increased on living happily ever after. Yet when the relationship didn’t last, I thought about how the sign didn’t make much of a difference. The reading said he’s supposed to be focused, ambitious and fun-loving but truth is he’s dull, quiet and often distracted. Maybe it’s because he was born on the cusp of two signs? We use any excuse to justify why things don’t work out the way we intend them too.

When I met the gentleman, I’m dating now I will admit I looked up his birthday on Facebook. I then thought about all the men I personally knew born around his day. I didn’t look up our compatibility as I didn’t want it to say we were oil and water (which I’ve gotten once). I told myself I wouldn’t put any expectations on getting to know him based on his astrological sign. I wanted to focus on who he truly was without any outside influence. To my surprise, we are a lot alike. We not only think alike, and talk alike, we enjoy a lot of the same things. After I knew I was utterly smitten with him, I looked up his sign. From what the stars say. we are incompatible.

With this relationship I was led to do things differently. One in bringing all my relationship concerns to God. Asking the Lord to reveal if we are supposed to be in each other’s lives? Asking that His will come forth above all else. Not my will, but your will (Luke 22:42). My will was involved in a lot of relationships that did not last. Asking God to help me with any issues that can negatively impact our relationship. I must admit I still had emotional baggage I needed to deal from. Psalms 139:23 says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!” My desire is that He searches my heart and purge me of anything not like Him. Asking the Lord to help me with communication, forgiveness, and misunderstandings (Colossians 3:13). I don’t care about incompatibility based on birthdays. What I care about is whether a relationship is ordained by God. On December 26th, 2018, God confirmed our relationship; in a way, only He could.

There are some habits and traditions that I have picked up, and I didn’t know, when or how. I just knew that for some time, it became my normal routine. I allowed a man’s astrological signs to become a factor in whether our relationship was doomed to fail or not. I allowed Google searches for relationship capability to become a fruitless routine. I wasn’t #DyingDaily to my flesh. I was dying to hearing Gods direction on who I was to spend my life with. Once I removed all the clouded superstitions, readings and traditions about a mate for myself, I was able to see God’s will undoubtedly.

2 thoughts on “Written in the Stars

    1. I agree, relying on astrology to guide you in life is a #FAIL. However, many people do it. It may seem innocent to some but we should allow God to guide us. You can’t do both.


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