When he first started going in on the gentleman I am dating I became flattered. Of course, I didn’t like what he was saying, but I was flattered that he cared enough to voice an opinion. An opinion that I didn’t expect. I had dated men in the past and not once had it been a problem. Then again, I never brought it to his attention that I was dating anyone. Usually I would just show up at a family function make introductions and boom there you go. Yet this time the guy I was dating asked me to bring the attention to my parents that I was dating someone. What I thought would be a quick text turned into multiple texts.
“What does he do for a living?”
“Do he live in Atlanta or Sacramento?”
“How old is he?”
“Was he ever married?”
“Does he have any kids?”
These questions are understandable, and I answered everyone. However, it didn’t stop there. The texts were followed up with a call that lasted about 1 hour. Cutting into the time I usually spend talking to the gentleman I’m dating. We talk around the same times every day. One being at night after my son has been put to sleep and we talk anywhere from 2-5 hrs.
On the call the questions got more intense:
“He’s a nice-looking guy. Why is he single?”
“How do you know he’s still not in love with his ex?”
“How do you know he doesn’t want to be with you simply because he’s lonely?”
“How do you know he’s not going to move in with you and try to have you take care of him once you’re married?”
“Where’s his Rolls Royce?”
“How do you know he’s not hiding something?”
More things were said by my Dad regarding this man. Things that if I were in a different headspace, I would have been upset about. My ears would have gotten hot & I might have said something disrespectful or hung-up. Instead, I sat & listened rebuking things under my breath and laughing when he made a joke. The gentleman I am dating is doing things in a biblical sense, and to the world, it will not make sense. To the world, a man loving me this much would be a threat to me. In the world, a man as great as him wouldn’t want a woman like me unless it was to use or abuse me. In the world, our love for each other is too good to be true. Except, I am not of the world for God called me out of the world (John 15:19). The Lord said he would give me (Ephesians 3:20) exceedingly abundantly what I can ask or think. I believe God not men with vein words. The gentleman I am dating is not only answered prayers. He fulfills desires in my heart I was too skeptical to even have faith in because I believed it wasn’t possible for me to have. Not because I’m not worth it but because society says men like him no longer exist.
My dad then told a story of a woman who needed to choose between 2 men. One of the men was laid back and chill and wanted to cruise through the relationship. The other man was serious about the woman and in being so went to her family and spent time with them without her being present. I was told that the woman felt the man who visited her family was too serious about her & cared too much. So much that maybe he’d be willing to kill her. As I heard this story, I thought about the proper way for a man to address parents and meet someone’s family. Over time I lost this treasured act or should I say I never had it. I had never had a man before initiate wanting to meet my parents or even show interest in meeting them. Yet, the gentleman I was dating proactivity not only asked me to tell my parents about us but wanted to meet with them by himself. This week I had been fasting, and so my flesh was getting weaker and my spirit stronger.
I talked to the gentleman I am dating and gave him snippets of what happened. His response, “He’s saying what a Dad would say. It’s ok, it doesn’t change anything. I can’t wait to meet him!” But as optimistic as he was he could see that it made me feel some type of way, so he prayed before we got off the phone and I prayed in the morning.
My conclusion, my Dad was being used to attack us. He wasn’t the first, and he won’t be the last. It’s not the person attacking us it’s the same spirit (Ephesians 6:12). Trying to break down what God is building up. As I surrender myself to the Lord, I laugh at the attempt the devil made to throw a monkey wrench into what God has perfectly put together. If I weren’t #DyingDaily, I would have taken what was said into consideration. I would have doubted my relationship, got mad, confused and been hurt. I would have taken what was said & applied it because it was coming from my dad. Some things he said were logical, and he obviously cares. However, I am #DyingDaily, so I thank God for sustaining me during that time because it’s something only He could do.