Void

There was a void I wanted to fill. It became easy to do.
I put down my heart, my morals, my identity, my mind. It became easy to do.
I couldn’t see how it could be done one way, so I choose another. I said, “Everyone else is doing it. Some even Blessed.
I didn’t see them going through the pain, stress, and mess.
“Why wait. Why do it another way? I was dealt these cards, and it’s only right to play.”
So I lusted through love and love never loved me back.
Lust kept me going,
Lust kept me trapped.
Like a mouse in a maze, dead ends were endless.
Trying to get to the cheese like I’m an experiment.
Watched for amusement. Studied for gain.
At the end when I made it out, I started all over again.
It became easy to do.
Lusting for love that only lusts you back.
Though my heart kept beating it bled without cease; causing turmoil deep inside of me.
There’s more, there’s more, there’s more for you.
It may appear easy, but it’s killing you.
Your heart, your morals, your identity, your mind.
STD’s, HIV, Birth, Broken Mind.
You think it’s easy rejecting yourself?
You think you know the difference between now and then?
Erasing the lust that burns because of sin.
Some things that are rooted need to be dug up.
Dig up the pain, shame, rejection, the regrets.
Dig up the false responsibility of doing what they’ve done.
Don’t covet another thinking that they’ve won.
For you were fearfully and wonderfully made.
Surrender this time to love, to grow, to experience, to gain.
To build the greatest relationship with the days you’ve been given.
Not saying deny your heart’s desire; forget your hope.
But when you align it with the heart of a King that’s when one become two.
Because now that you’re aware there’s a best for you,
There’s a beneath you,
And becoming of you.
There’s a love and a light that burns through.
It became easy to do. Live a lie that is.
When truth uncovers the where you belong to who you shall be…
The wondering of “what if?”
Turns into one day it shall be.

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